who is khoshgele Mummy?
Who is Moshkele Mummy?
Who is Nazgole Mummy?

Me.

At least,
I am being appreciated for what I do!

Two years of marriage,
living together,
sharing good and bad moments
being happy and sad
angry and mad
but still staying together
feeling more and more connected.
Cheers to commitment.

Since Dad has started establishing his alzheimer, the future looks very scary to me.

I wonder what has happened to them? to their personalities?
Whom should i blame?
To whom should i complain to?
Which one of the thousands reasons should I use to connivence myself that I am not responsible for every single individuals that are sharing blood with me?

what has happened to us?

I have never been so stable in my life.
I am thinking if 30s are the time to enjoy stability or to break the pattern?

I am getting used to see the faces of people who have not seen me in the last 6 years.
I wonder if I can surprise them again with my changes in another 6 years!

Here I am, on Canadian thanksgiving day, working in nyc! Should i be thankful for not being able to relax even on thanksgiving day!?

First Day of Spring,
Our second spring together,
it's snowing outside and i feel so warm
warmer than anytime in my life
my 30 years of being on earth!

Winter in Montreal is very special. It's hard, cold, tough but it's lovely.
There is so much charm in the city, in the people running under the cold snow with all kind of warm winter coats boots. The charm for me is when every one knows the winter is hard but no one give up trying to survive, to dress well and look good.

I woke up seeing him getting ready for work as usual, smiled at him and asked him with eyes half open:
*: "You know what is really hard and scary?"
- "what?"
*"The moment you learn that your believes were wrong.All these times you were sticking to the false truth.
- "Like when"
* "Like when I talk about the history course I passed at school with other people from different part of the worlds. There are many stories that are modified based on the geographic region. When you don't know which one is the real story, because you can't use time machine and go back to the history and see what was exactly happening"
- "I can understand"
* "and you know what is more scary"
-What?
*"when you die, you just realize that all the concepts of heaven and hell were just a big lie to fool you. You look at other's souls and they say yes, we have been there too!"
-You should be a philosopher!
*But there is no way to find the truth, I can't wait to die and see what was the truth.
- Check sukrat's writing today! You two think a like!

I saw the truth.
The real truth.
The sad truth
and I gave up trying to give love
to people who don't give a damn about my feeling...

I gave up loving and trying!
It's over.
I am not part of them any more...

Nothing goes like you had planned. Nothing!
I don't know why we don't give up planning!?

I don't want to rush into anything.
I don't want to plan anything infront.
I want to enjoy the whole process of living.